I’ve met many people in many states and countries and I talk to people every day, I go to work and spend 8 hours a day with familiar strangers, I run into people in shopping centers, at the post office, on the street, here and there and we always speak and say “it’s great to see you” then we are of on our way to wherever we were headed. I have social media followers, stalkers and salespeople all watching for that moment to either tell you something they think is relevant to the day or trying to sell something, a few however, are people I want to engage with. Social for me is a way to connect with people that I don’t often see, which was the original purpose before Marky went all greedy over the buck.
I have social media friends that are cousins, aunts, uncles, friends from high school, “friends” in the profession in which I work, and “friends” that are service providers who I have met and like to support. There is one group in particular for me that always stands out. Most of you who know me know that I enjoy volunteering and eventing in benefit of others. I like being in the background, teaching people how to host events, find sponsorship, create fun events, organize, and market them and I prefer that they refrain from sharing who has taught them, in fact refraining from sharing my name is part of the rules, they are not allowed to publicly thank me. Instead, they must help someone else or create a charitable campaign that assists someone. It is selfish really; I enjoy knowing that I made something happen and I enjoy seeing the person who benefits feel loved.
Back to that special group, they are what I consider my fam. My 4x4 enthusiasts who jump at a moment’s notice to lend a hand whenever asked. On the outside, they appear a bit rough, driving lifted rigs with all sorts of modifications, equipment, lights, music, and beer. They are the people you see cruising down the road, top off, tires singing loudly, dog hanging out the side, music playing, hair blowing in the wind, fun loving, challenge enjoying enthusiasts. And they are for the most part, wonderful!
Over the years they have rescued each other and strangers, educated strangers, volunteered physical labor, supported each other during times of struggle, donated, given, shared precious time, laughed, teased, and cried with each other. Many of them come together as family and have a bond that is tighter than the bond, they should have with blood relatives.
I once held an event called Fam Fair which was designed to raise money for a fellow Jeeper that had assumed his grandmother’s medical debt. She was dying of breast cancer, living on social security, and barely making it. He was struggling to feed his own family, paying her bills, and falling into the black hole of debt that one never returns from. He had decided to sell his one and only outlet to pay bills to keep his grandmother in her home until her end. That outlet was his jeep. In one day, our fellow 4x4 enthusiasts came together and raised enough money to pay off his Jeep and make a significant dent in his debt, keeping his head above water and preserving his outlet. We gave him that hand needed to be able to climb up and keep going. It took me 3 months of planning, several hundred sponsors, tons of marketing and a prayer for rain to wait to make it happen. He wasn’t allowed to say who helped but he was required to account for each penny received. Great guy, it was an honor to help. In the end it wasn’t me who helped, it was every 4x4 enthusiast who came and spent money on raffles and other paid activities, they were the heroes.
When the air tank at the Eldorado Outpost, a small store and meeting place for wheelers near the Uwharrie National Forest, needed replacement, these same enthusiasts came together and purchased raffle tickets hoping to win big items donated by amazing sponsors. Enough money was raised to replace the tank with a larger one, ensuring that free air continued after long trail rides, dozens of people donated a little or a lot for the cause without complaint, and together we installed the tank, digging lines and lifting it into place on a cold winter’s day. These are my people. They are helpers, givers and fun loving explorers.
Recently, one of our beloved Jeepers died. It is difficult for me to describe how I feel about this loss because he was a unique person. Eric Garner was a person who was genuinely kind. I can’t remember ever seeing him approach or greet a person with anything other then joy and genuine warmth and the biggest smile. It didn’t matter if you knew him, if you were open to a greeting, he gave it. He loved a four-wheel drive challenge and hit it hard, enjoying every minute. While my husband and I were on some of our wheeling adventures out west, he sent messages often asking about terrain, giving us tips, or hinting about joining us for a trip, it was like having an online cheerleader.
He donated his time and physical labor to help maintain ohv trails on a system he loved. What he didn’t understand or maybe he did and kept quiet, was that he was part of that Uwharrie magic, people like Eric who elevate the positive and make every experience better. I have a fence board he painted with white letters that reads Uwharrie Life. After he bought his mountain get away, he made several for his property and for friends that he knew would enjoy them, that sign reminds me of his big smile, the one he flashed on the day I picked up that sweet gift.
An experience that I keep with me happened April 2nd on a beautiful Uwharrie day. Mud n’ Blood is a small group of enthusiasts with a close family friendship bond, and I am very grateful to be a part of their family. This day in April was to be Eric’s last Uwharrie wheeling trip. The guys worked hard to modify his vehicle to allow him to drive using hand controls but that isn’t the most amazing part. Eric had lost the use of his legs and used a wheelchair, his body failing, limited his ability to use his hands but did nothing to diminish his spirit he was grateful to God for giving him the day. His Mud n’ Blood family surrounded him and catered to his needs. Watching the guys lift him into his vehicle, Kong, and slowly get him strapped in was both painful and awe inspiring. They were so gentle, patient, kind and loving. That trail ride was everything he wanted, and they gave it to him exactly as he had envisioned. At the end of the day, they returned to his mountain home, he was exhausted and smiling from ear to ear and radiating happiness.
It took time to get him from the vehicle, immediately the guys carried his favorite recliner outside and waited to assist. What almost made me cry was watching these amazing men lift our friend from his Jeep and carry him to his chair. No one asked them to do it, they all jumped at the chance to make him comfortable. It was this spirit that moved me so much, as I looked around at this little family, it was the notion that each person was there to give Eric support, love, friendship, family, and a feeling of fullness. It was the joy and attention that each person shared which is difficult for me to articulate but Eric did. He leaned on my shoulder and said I’ve had the best day, God has given me this family and they have made my heart full, I am so blessed, thank you for being here.
A few minutes later he said, I’d like to wheel on the beach and feel the sand one last time, and immediately someone said, let’s do it, pick the day and we will make it happen. There was no fussing about dates and availability and schedules, it was evident that making his last wishes come true was priority. These are my people. These big hearted, giving, loving, adventurous people are to me, special gifts from God.
Over the next few weeks, Eric and I chatted often on Messenger. His health failing, his attitude and his spirit staying positive and inspiring, he would say things like I have no energy, or I am so tired, but he never complained. Late one evening he sent me a little video of a pack of dogs running towards a gate, and one turned and ran back to her owner, it was an English Mastiff, all slobbery and clumsy, and the caption read, I choose you, friend, it made me laugh, that was Eric. He was in constant pain but took the time to make me laugh.
I pulled some strings and was able to get the 0001-trail pass for Uwharrie, something local trail users all want. April 23rd during our chat, he was too tired to talk much, I told him I had a special gift and that he would understand it once it arrived. I mailed that pass to Eric with a short thank you explaining my gratitude for his friendship, that #1 pass itself explained more then I’ll articulate in this short write up. He got my note and gift, a few days before he left us, but he understood, and it made him happy. To be able to make him happy in his last days, even for a few minutes for me was a great gift.
He has gone but the impact his positive spirit had on everyone remains, I am left with the image of a very tired man, smiling ear to ear while his loved ones gently lift him from his Jeep into his chair. That image of happiness, love and compassion will forever stay with me as will his laughter from days past.
These are my people. They are family and I am grateful for each experience that I share with them, I am grateful for what they give to each other and for the light they bring to this world.
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