Some days you just don’t want to people, that was me the entire 3-day weekend that just passed. I didn’t want to see faces, photos, hear voices or listen to arguments or read ugly comments in the news. I spent the weekend preparing for my dog’s death.
I am not the greatest at writing, I never claimed to be, but it helps me remember and I can later read what I have written so that I don't forget. I want to remember every moment of my sweet love's life.
Yes, you read that correctly. My sweet, furry, loveable giant will die on Saturday, July 9th at home, on his bed, with me looking into his loveable eyes while thanking him for all the love and companionship he has given me. My neighbor came with his backhoe and dug the gigantic grave, the vet has been scheduled and his many human friends have been calling or visiting to say their goodbyes.
It is amazing to see how many people have enjoyed this 219lb lovebug. He has been the perfect pup since day one. Always happy, always playful, and loving, sometimes protective, always kind, and considerate.
One day when he was 3, we had gone to PetSmart after a vet visit for shots to pick out a toy for being so good. We were in the toy isle, and he was busy sniffing toys, searching for the one. A lovely 3 yr. old girl with Downs Syndrome wearing thick pink glasses and a cute yellow dress saw Cruiser and screamed PUP-PEEEE in delight! She went running at him full speed ahead. He looked up at me surprised, then back at the running girl and sat down. The girl’s father saw his daughter running at a 200lb dog and panicked. He began yelling and running trying to stop the girl. The little girl crashed into Cruiser’s chest and instantly buried her face in his fur, laughing and hugging tight. The dad was within a few feet when Cruiser put one gigantic arm around the girl and dared the dad to touch her. From Cruiser’s perspective, the dad was going to harm the child, and he was not going to allow it. I asked the dad to stop, stand still and wait.
He was so scared this big giant was going to hurt the child and kept saying she had special needs. I said yes, I can see that, so can Cruiser, let him enjoy her. And he did. He laid on the floor and let that little girl hug, climb, pet, kiss, and laugh for a good 15 minutes. Cruiser was so careful, making sure he didn't crush her with his weight or knock her down. Each time dad tried to grab the girl, Cruiser stood up and encircled her with that big English Mastiff arm. When dad stepped back, Cruiser laid down so the child could continue loving him. Eventually I had to tell the girl we had to leave, when she went to her dad, Cruiser knew the visit was over. She waved to us as he carried her away. That was my boy.
When my friend Amy came to our home for the first time, she was a little weary of such a big dog. She sat quietly on our couch, Cruiser walked over, sniffed, turned, and sat his big booty in her lap.
My friend Michael came over to pick up an air compressor he had bought from us. He wanted to meet my boy and I of course gave him the warning. He can be excited when meeting new people outdoors and will run towards you, but he won’t hurt you. Michael just laughed and said, let him run! So, I did. Cruiser raced out the back door, across the yard to Michael and within minutes was up on two legs, his front paws on Michael’s shoulders and they were saying hello, it followed by running, rolling, and playing for a good 15 minutes, like two old friends reuniting. Love at first sight. That was Cruiser.
My friend Andra was nervous meeting Cruiser the first time, she had not been around such a big dog before. After introductions and some petting, I gave her a dog cookie and she held it in her mouth. My big boy, placed his front paws in her hands, rose and took that cookie, just as gently as possible. She was delighted and still a little scared, but he made sure nothing harmed her.
Cruiser has always demanded that people see him as a small, playful, fun, loving pup. He is aware of his size, we trained him to be cautious. He has always been one to push his giant head into you as an invitation to snuggle. If he doesn’t find you worthy, he dismisses you and that is that.
He adores big bugs and frogs and is always careful not to step on them or harm them and will lay and cry if it happens. He has always been fascinated by rabbits. We have a large tree in our front yard that rabbits nest under each spring. Each spring Cruiser circles that tree, looking under for babies and each spring the electric fence would bite his tail as he circled it. He would yelp and continue looking. When he finally caught a rabbit, he was so excited. He held it with his big paws, sniffed from head to tail, licked it, and let the bunny go all covered in slobber. He simply wanted to love on it. That was Cruiser.
He was the perfect pup. House broken at 7 weeks, never chewed anything but his toys, learned boundaries and off limit areas quickly. Teaching him basic commands was fast and easy and by 9 weeks he had them all down.
He is the last of his litter of 11 pups, the owners all kept in contact, sharing medical issues, and bragging about our babies. His last sibling, Larry, died last summer. Cruiser went to doggy daycare at 9 weeks, it was a wonderful class of giant breed pups, English Mastiffs, Bull Mastiffs, Great Danes and one Rottweiler, Cruiser is the last living member of his circle. For over 8 years, these pups met for playdates, his best friend Diesel, a Neapolitan Mastiff, boarded with Cruiser while we were on vacation, and Cruiser boarded with Diesel when his owner was on vacation. Diesel died of cancer two years ago, the other playmates are long gone. Where others see death, I see life. I was given the gift of enjoyment longer than the other pet parents.
He is attentive and alert, let anything change even a little on the property and he lets you know it. A tiny piece of paper, a vehicle parked where it should not be, an open gate, an animal, visitor, etc. He is a creature of habit and doesn’t like change.
He loves phone calls especially from Darin. The second he hears Darin's voice talking to me, he headbutts the phone until I turn on the speaker and Darin talks to him. He also loves for my mom, his Grandma to talk to him as well. He gets so excited when they call and refuses to allow you to talk until he has had his moment.
He wakes me up at 6:45am every day, reminds me to turn on the coffee pot and waits for his scrambled egg. He goes out, checks on his cat, and chickens and does his business. When my horse Buck was alive, Cruiser greeted him every time he went out, they rubbed noses and ran the fence line multiple times every day. Buck had a special nicker that he called to Cruiser and Cruiser loved it and him. Cruiser will be buried next to Buck, nose to nose.
This past weekend we spent 3 days together. We ate his favorite human foods, snuggled on his bed when he felt bad, took short walks, played with his favorite toy, talked to people on the phone, sat on the front bench and watched fireworks, and rubbed noses with his cat.
Cruiser is by far the best pup I have ever had the privilege to call my friend, his passing will leave a gigantic hole in my heart, but I am determined to give him the best ending possible.
Every day I see people posting about stray dogs, dogs who “escape” and are missing, dogs being abused, overfilled shelters, people dumping animals and more. I have always believed that when you bring a pup home, he or she immediately becomes family and should be treated as such. I don’t believe in “accidents”. You either commit to the pup or you neglect it. There are no accidental dog pregnancies, my boys are left intact. I believe in supervision always for their safety. I don’t believe in dumping a pup into a yard and calling it a home. I believe in giving the pup 100% or not getting a pup.
Every bad story pushed me to hug my dog, love my dog and give him the best possible. I can’t make up for the neglect and abuse for others, but I can ensure that one pup lives his best life and Cruiser has. He has met and enjoyed people, gone places, taken fun rides, eaten the best foods, explored fun trails, enjoyed animal friends, enjoyed silly games, slept on comfy beds, and has received so many hugs and kisses. I am grateful for each day. How many can say their life was this good?
It is unlikely that I will have another English Mastiff, as I age, I can’t lift and handle the weight when issues arise like I was once physically able. I admit, I am a dog snob. I love this breed more then any other and am not attracted to the average dog. There is something about his size that is comforting. Walking him places, my hand resting on his back instead of a leash, his lion like size when you snuggle, full body hugs, and the feel of his 200lbs in my lap when he sits and demands attention is something you don't get with small dogs, and by small, I mean under 150 lbs. I’ll continue to help mutts and smaller breeds find homes, but they are not for me.
Don’t feel bad for us, instead feel happy. Go home, love your pup, give him the best and take time to realize how short their life is and think about all they give and think about what you can give them in return. 10 years and 4 months wasn’t long enough but we had a wonderful time.
Commenti