Some days are BORING and you just need a little something. I wandered into Hobby Lobby to shop for things I don't need but they call me so I buy them and what do I see? Signs telling my empty stomach that I need more bacon in my life. Bacon makes everything better, it is salty, crunchy (if cooked right) and adds flavor to EVERYTHING it touches! Except men, bacon doesn't do anything but make men fatter hahahaha Men holding bacon do look more attractive though and bacon reminds me of Kelly.
Back in high school I had dumped my big, beautiful mechanic that my friends hated and was bummed when along came Kelly. Blond, tan, muscular, and so beautiful. His smile lit up the room and he made it a goal to make every person around him laugh which made him even better. We worked together, night shift at Waffle House, my favorite job to date! We had an amazing crew that bonded and made the night shift THE place to be. We laughed, danced, drank, snuck out, covered, ate, and goofed off all while making great money. There was a bar across the street called Jack O' Diamonds, Kelly would sneak off and come back in 20 with frozen Blue Hawaiians, my favorite drink to date and my first drink ever! Little styrofoam cups of happiness!
Kelly flirted with every female thing that walked in the door and every female thing that walked in flirted with Kelly. I loved everything about him except that very fact. He hated every guy that walked in and flirted with me. Houston, my ex caused major cock fights, yes, I call them cock fights because both idiots were battling with testosterone, and neither were impressive during their pissing matches. When Houston came in my ass became the place where Kelly’s hand constantly landed, so many kisses were received, and there was a fabulous hug every 5 seconds, followed by some sort of cute laugh and compliment. That also happened with Gene, Pat, Michael, Bobby, Willie, and many other friends came in. Male customers brought out the jealous, sappy, smoochie side of Kelly and I loved it and him. For 3 years we did this dance, both in person at work and on the phone on off days. He was my source of happiness, self-confidence, and joy.
Problem was that Kelly’s father, an overbearing ass who was extremely unhappy with Kelly’s antics and nack for getting into trouble. Every time we turned around Mr. Ass was punishing him for something he did or didn’t do and most times it was unwarranted. His dad had a thing for younger women which is why he was single, he was a womanizer, a cocky sob and someone who thought that “tough love” was the only way. He constantly threatened to send my sweet guy off to a military type boarding school and in the summer of 1986 he did just that. One day my sweet guy just disappeared. No notice to me or work, just poof gone! 6 months later out of the blue he called, we talked for 3 hours and every few Saturdays after that for a good year, until he was forced join the Navy. Then he was gone, turns out that his wandering dick got him into trouble.
Bacon reminds me of laughter, dancing, illegal drinks, kisses, and happy times. Days when I was angry, tired or being an ass, Kelly would cook me huge plates of bacon as a peace offering and I would snack on that crispy goodness all night…..for free (back in the day Waffle House didn’t care what you ate or when, they didn’t audit).
Bacon = happiness. I need more Bacon in my life.
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